As you go about your lives as a couple, you will encounter many opportunities for conflict big and small. That’s why relationship advice that guides you through conflict is crucial.
One way to determine happiness in your relationship is with effective communication. Doing so with your partner allows you to let the small stuff go.
Here are 6 relationship arguments way too petty to ever fight over.
1. Hobbies and spending time apart
It’s easy to feel rejected or jealous when your spouse wants to spend time away to pursue their interests. However, independence is a vital part of a healthy relationship.
Couples with hobbies and interests outside of their relationship are more likely to feel fulfilled and content. They also bring back things to discuss when they return to their partners.
Try not to see their time away as an indication of their feelings towards you. Take that time to develop your interests as well. Like anything, moderation is key.
If your partner is constantly avoiding you, it merits a serious discussion. But hobbies and separate interests are small things. When someone does what makes them happy, they return to the relationship energized.
2. Your in-laws
Many people find it difficult to get along with their in-laws (me included). No matter how nice you are or how nice they are, topics on which you disagree are bound to come up from time to time.
There are myriad things to fight over when it comes to in-laws. For example, when, where, and how often to see them. That snide comment his mother made, her father’s preferences about who to invite to your wedding, and so many more.
Maintaining boundaries with the in-laws is a common hot-button issue with couples. While they can be frustrating, your in-laws aren’t worth driving a wedge into your relationship by fighting about them.
This puts your spouse in a very awkward situation they don’t deserve to be in, since they don’t have control over their parents, who are grown adults. Having tension between you and your spouse over in-laws is not worth it.
3. Minor parenting issues
Certain parenting disagreements can often cause problems in your relationship. For example, a Christian may have real problems raising their children with an Atheist or vice versa. Core values merit a discussion, as do safety-related issues.
On the other hand, the majority of couples have different tolerances for certain things when it comes to their children. Perhaps you are more lenient about before-dinner snacks or bedtimes than your partner. Maybe he wants to raise the kids on entirely organic food, and you don’t care, or vice versa.
These things aren’t worth fighting over. Work to find a way to compromise without undermining your partner’s decisions in front of your kids.
4. Chores and housework
In an ideal world, everyone’s house would look like it came straight from the pages of Decor & Style magazine. However, getting there is not exactly convenient or easy.
Although everybody should do their fair share of work around the house, fighting over this issue can make both of you feel seriously unappreciated and misunderstood. If you find yourself frustrated over the amount of housework you are both taking on, try to accept your home may never be as perfect as the houses displayed in magazines and the media, then divide up the chores fairly.
Remember that your relationship with your partner is worth far more than a clean home. After all, who wants to live in a spotless home with a person they are constantly arguing with?
5. Home Decor
Like chores and housework, arguing over renovations and home decor decisions is a huge waste of time and energy. Your flooring, cabinets, or paint colors are not as important as having a happy, safe relationship.
Try to compromise and make sure you both get to “win” choices about decor. Decide what your non-negotiables are and resolve to let the rest go.
6. TV and movie viewing preferences
Have you ever gotten into a raging argument over which show to watch on TV or who gets to pick what you watch together too often? I hate to admit it, but I’ll sheepishly raise my hand.
This falls under the “small stuff” category. If you’re hoarding the remote, give it up. If you’re always picking the movie or allowing someone else to, relinquish control.
When it comes to your relationship, some problems are worthy of arguments. These include lying, cheating, and fundamental differences in life goals.
But as for the small stuff, applying effective communication with your partner allows you to let the small stuff go.
Elizabeth Stone is a love coach and founder of Attract The One and Luxe Self. Her work has been featured in Zoosk, PopSugar, The Good Men Project, Bustle, Ravishly, SheKnows, Mind’s Journal, and more.