In 2015, Mic conducted a survey of 1,500 people to find out which little things their partners do that actually are making people happier in their relationship.
The results revealed that these things have nothing to do with what people usually and normally say are important in making a relationship work: attractiveness, ambition, security, and so on.
The truth is that you need to find happiness in your own self and in life before you can find happiness with someone else. But there were a few small but impactful things that really stood out to these people in a relationship.
Here are 7 little things that make people happier in their relationships.
1. When their partner makes them a cup of tea
“He works night shifts and usually gets back around the time I am waking up to go to work. Without fail, I can always find a cup of tea made just the way I like in his hands as he wakes me up. It is the best way to wake up in the morning.”
2. When they receive handmade notes
“Every so often, my boyfriend makes me a hand-drawn Valentine with a clever, personal joke and mails it to me at work.”
3. When they get sweet texts while apart
“I travel a lot for work, so when I’m gone, my partner will send me text messages as though our pup, Zooey, is writing them. It’s really sweet because he also sends pictures of her, and it makes me laugh and feel genuinely missed by both of them.”
4. When their partner takes the time to cook something they love
“Boyfriend makes me grilled cheese sandwiches from time to time. I remember this time, after we got busy, he made me one around 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. We then finished a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle together.”
5. When their partner says something sweet every night before bed
“Every single night, we tell each other, ‘Goodnight, sweet dreams, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’ It’s small and dumb, but it’s like saying, ‘I love you’ for two people who otherwise don’t know how to say it.”
6. When they’re allowed to sleep in
“When I block him in the driveway with my car, he gets up earlier than he has to in order to move our cars around, so I can sleep in while he goes to work!”
7. When they receive an intimate hug
“When my boyfriend hugs me, he first puts one arm around my lower body and then one around my upper. He puts his head on my shoulder, sighs deeply, tightens the hug, and whispers my name. I can feel him physically relaxing and smiling into my shoulder.”
As we all know, there are so many dimensions that go into finding happiness, in general, for one person, that you have to put in the work to find it as a couple.
But remember that it’s not the big things or the extravagance of overly grand displays of love that matter most — it’s the little things that mean a whole lot more.
Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Psych Central, Popsugar, Yahoo, Huffington Post, MSN, Collider, and more.