A woman’s family was divided after she accused her parents of loving their biological grandchild more than their adopted ones.
The woman’s claims arose after a disagreement over a holiday gift exchange, where she believed that her adopted children were treated unfairly compared to her biological daughter at the hands of her parents.
However, the woman’s parents believed that she was acting “greedy” and ungrateful.
The woman criticized her parents for giving her biological daughter more Christmas gifts than her adopted children.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/AITA, the 41-year-old woman revealed that she has three children: 17-year-old Jane, 16-year-old Rachel, and 14-year-old Dave. While Jane is her biological daughter, the woman said that Rachel and Dave are her husband’s children from a previous marriage whom she adopted.
Every year around Christmas time, the woman’s parents asked her children to write a list of the gifts they wanted to make shopping easier. On Christmas Day one year, the woman, her husband, and their children met up with her parents for dinner where they exchanged gifts.
“Jane had a huge gift bag as well as a fairly big wrapped parcel,” the woman wrote. “Rachel and Dave each had small gift bags.”
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According to the woman, Jane received every item she had written down on her Christmas list from her grandparents, which was about 10 books and a replica Messi T-shirt. Meanwhile, Rachel and Dave received only one item from their list, with Rachel getting a pair of Tiffany stud earrings and Dave getting a pair of AirPods.
“I was surprised because my parents bought Jane everything she wanted but only got the others relatively small, but mainly just one item when Jane got many,” the woman admitted.
“Obviously Rachel and Dave were a little upset … Dave had the same Messi shirt on his wishlist that my parents got for Jane, but didn’t bother for Dave.”
The woman told her parents that she believed what they did was “really unfair” to Dave and Rachel, and that it was a shame that they did not demonstrate the same amount of love for them as they did for Jane. She then claimed that her parents must not even view Dave and Rachel as their “real” grandchildren.
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The woman’s parents were offended by her comments, calling her and her husband greedy, and insisting that they be happy with the gifts that they bought for Rachel and Dave.
The situation has caused tension within the rest of the family, with the woman’s sister believing that she should apologize to their parents. However, her husband agreed with her and was standing by her side.
Most people disagreed with the woman, believing that she, her husband, and her adopted children should all be grateful for the gifts that they received.
They pointed out that the items on Jane’s list were significantly cheaper than those on Rachel and Dave’s list, with jewelry from Tiffany’s and AirPods costing hundreds of dollars, while books and a T-shirt typically cost less than $100.
“If the step-grandkids want lots of presents to open, they should ask for multiple inexpensive things rather than asking for big-ticket items,” one Redditor commented. “The gifts they got were already very generous and far more than most kids would get from grandparents; expecting their grandparents to buy them even more is greedy.”
“It’s the value of the gift, not the number of packages,” another user noted.
Photo: Frame Stock Footage / Shutterstock
When it comes to the holidays, parents and grandparents are already bending over backward to get their children and grandchildren the items on their lists. Expenses add up quickly, and more often than not, there are multiple children and grandchildren to consider.
Instead of determining how much family members love you based on the number of gifts you receive from them, consider other actions they do for you.
Do they take you out to lunch? Check in to see how you’re doing? Remind you how much they love you?
Love is not measured by materialism. It is measured by all of the little things one does to make you feel worthy, whether they are biologically related to you or not.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.