No two marriages are exactly the same, but according to one lawyer, certain professions tend to create marital troubles more commonly than others. A divorce attorney known as “KK” on TikTok posted a video explaining a time when she was still in law school and a colleague of hers shared a curious perspective about marriages with men in certain professions.
The attorney named five professions that women should avoid marrying.
“When I first started practicing family law 13 years ago, a woman attorney gave me a statistic about the top five professions of men that women should avoid marrying,” she starts the TikTok.
2. Police officers
3. Military men
Originally, she explained, she thought that it was an odd statistic that someone would bring up, but over the course of her career, she was reminded of it again.
“Over the course of my career, I’ve watched my most difficult cases and, shockingly, many of them involved men in these five professions,” she continued.
According to KK, the reasons these professions land on this list is because the men in these careers “tend to be more narcissistic” and “controlling.”
“They all have in common that the men in these professions, they’re gods in their professions,” KK explains. An air of importance and power makes these men typically more problematic, according to her, as they find it hard to transition into a husband role that requires them to be equals with their partner.
However, because of traditional gender roles, many couples may have these issues at home regardless of profession. As one woman jokingly commented, “Maybe it’s just MEN that are the red flag.”
In addition, these are all high-stress jobs that require extended periods of time away from home.
Not every man you meet in one of these five professions will be a narcissistic and controlling partner. However, every man in one of these five professions experiences extremely stressful situations regularly, which can in turn put stress on their home life, which KK discussed in a follow-up video.
According to a 2018 study, daily work stress makes it harder to detach from the job, meaning those in these professions are often bringing their work home with them. “When absorbed by their work while being together, the perception of the relationship by both partners is compromised,” the study concluded. “These hindrances to daily relationship quality likely accumulate and threaten the overall relationship’s quality and longevity.”
Unfortunately, most of these careers are more than just stressful, with high rates of PTSD that, when left untreated, can affect a relationship.
“PTSD itself cannot destroy a marriage, but unresolved symptoms of PTSD can certainly harm — and even ruin — a marriage in the long run,” Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and trauma and relationship expert, told PsychCentral, suggesting couples seek therapy and make an intentional effort to communicate effectively with each other to avoid these negative effects.
Keep in mind that statistics can tell you the percentage of marriages that fail and why, but they are not proof that yours is destined to.
“If you’re married to somebody in one of these professions, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to failure,” KK said. “It doesn’t mean that your husband is a bad person.”
Statistics don’t know anything about your spouse or potential spouse, nor do they know anything about you or your marriage — but it’s something to keep in mind as it is simply something that is common.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.