When you first meet a guy, it’s hard to tell if he really likes you or if he just wants to tear your clothes off. However, this tells you very little about whether he likes you as a human being.
After a guy has sex with you, he may suddenly say all kinds of things and will make sure you know he can’t wait to “see” you again. But does this mean he really likes you?
Many women confuse physical intimacy with emotional intimacy, so it’s easy to get confused about whether or not there’s any real potential for a relationship between the two of you. Fortunately, there are specific signs you can look for that reveal if a guy likes you for more than that “one thing.”
Here’s how to tell if a guy likes you or only wants a hookup.
1. He wants to spend more time with you
The first indicator that a man is serious about you is when he wants to spend more time together, just the two of you. The interesting thing about this time is he doesn’t care what you’ll do together, he just wants to be with you.
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What starts out as a once a week occurrence becomes twice, then three times, and so on. When a guy likes you, you start to become more and more a part of his life, and he can’t imagine going a day without seeing you.
When a man starts spending more time with you, it’s a good sign he sees potential for a real relationship with you in the long run. However, if a guy is only in it for a hookup, he won’t spend much time doing anything else with you but exactly that.
2. He wants to see you in the daytime
Real relationships are built in the daytime, whereas hookups primarily happen at night. When a guy starts wanting to spend time with you during the day, it means there is something real with you.
Being with a guy who likes to talk to you is important. A relationship is a conversation that never ends. Talking and laughing during the daytime is a strong sign that the two of you are onto something more than casual.
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Being together in the daytime gives you a perspective on how real life would be with a guy. If he can see you going to the grocery store and doing errands together, the possibilities for a relationship that will last greatly increase.
Daytime is also when you find out if the two of you are truly compatible. Being together in normal, everyday situations is a strong indicator that there’s an element of friendship between you, which is essential for serious, healthy relationships.
3. He’s considering a lifetime with you
The third and most important sign a guy likes you and wants more than a casual hookup is if he makes plans with you for the future. Does he talk about introducing you to his family and friends? Is he starting to include you in plans for things that are two or three months in advance?
When a man is only interested in “one thing,” he rarely even plans the next date ahead of time. When you do hear from him, it’s to schedule the next hookup, typically on short notice.
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On the contrary, a man who truly likes you wants to plan ahead and schedule the next time he’s going to see you. He doesn’t leave it to chance because he knows that if he’s not attentive, he may lose you.
Considering a lifetime with you means a man sees you in his future. He’s putting you in his calendar, and he’s inviting you to meet his family and friends. In other words, he likes you and is starting to think about a future that includes you by his side.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He’s also the author of “A Life of Love” and “Dating Advice for Alpha Women.”