Growing up is hard to do, mainly because kids can sometimes be cruel.
One mom turned to Reddit for this exact reason, telling a story that we’ve all experienced in one way or another, and a feeling of sadness we all know too well.
The mom asked for advice after her 10-year-old daughter was left out of a sleepover with her ‘friends’ and then sent pictures of them all together.
After her 10-year-old daughter was left out of a sleepover with friends, she was desperate to get advice on how to deal with the situation and couldn’t help but worry that this wouldn’t be the only incident.
“I’m just so upset and mad for her right now. Why did the girls feel the need to text [her] all of the fun things they were doing at the sleepover, but not invite her in the first place?” the mom desperately wrote in her post.
Despite having several other sleepovers and hang out sessions with the friend group, it seemed like this one occurrence was much different. The typical friend group planned a sleepover and deliberately left her daughter out.
Despite “forgetting” her invite, the daughter received tons of text messages filled with photos of the girls’ “cookie plate,” fun activities, and sleepover shenanigans.
Sad for her daughter, this mom kept her Apple Watch away from her in hopes of keeping the hurtful photos to herself and took to Reddit for advice. Not only was she angry with the girls and her parents, but she was sad for her daughter who felt betrayed by a friend group she cherished.
The mom wondered if there was anything she could have done to prevent her daughter’s sadness over the sleepover.
Looking for someone to blame, the mom said her daughter had turned on her and was angry that she didn’t know about the sleepover or talk with her friend’s mom earlier in the week. However, the mom wrote that she never knew about it.
Some parents suggested wiping out sleepovers altogether because they carry more risk and stress for parents than a typical hang out session would. Especially for tweens and teens.
“I totally agree it’s messed up but it’s also a good opportunity to teach a kiddo resiliency, not taking things super personal, and investing your time into friends who invest their time into you.” a commenter said. “They need to learn how to handle and process hurtful situations without parents getting involved to mediate the situation.”
Other parents assured her this ‘happens all the time’ with sleepovers and suggested the daughter broaden her circle of friends.
“My daughter is devastated,” the Reddit woman wrote, “and mad at me for not talking to [the girl’s] mom. I had no idea [she] was having her own sleepover.”
Many parents in the comments defended the mother, knowing there was nothing she could have done. One user assured her that with girls at that age, “It happens all the time.”
“My advice to you is to not make a big deal out of it… it will happen over and over again, whether you speak up about it or not,” she continued. Instead of making a big deal out of it and causing her daughter more embarrassment, the commenter urged her to support the young girl in making a variety of friends in different groups.
Regardless of the mother’s actions, this sleepover tale was one that we all experienced. Whether we were on the giving or receiving end, teenagers have been using this “secret sleepover” tactic for decades.
Grasping at power and control in any way they can, unfortunately, the only way out is through. An important message, however, is she will get through it and she’ll always have her mom to depend on.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.