A woman is complicated for a very good reason: to separate the needy and desperate guys from the one man who can uniquely love, adore, and appreciate her. What men refer to as “playing games” is often actually unconscious testing on the part of a woman.
It’s so unconscious, in fact, she probably doesn’t even realize that she’s doing it, but she is.
These tests are opportunities for a guy to begin to demonstrate that he’s “The One” — the man who will be committed and focused on her above all others and will protect her, love her, and be faithfully committed to her and only her.
Here’s what this looks like in real life:
A couple is out on a movie date. It’s late and it’s been snowing lightly while the movie was on. They came in different vehicles and parked on opposite sides of the parking lot, and now they’re planning to head to a restaurant to continue their evening.
When they realize they’re parked on opposite sides of the lot, he offers to walk her to her car.
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She says, “No, it’s fine. You’re parked on the other side of the lot. I’ll meet you at the restaurant in a few minutes.”
But what he hears is, “I appreciate you being gentlemen enough to offer, but I’m fine,” and so he hugs her and heads over to his car.
He just failed the test. Ironically, she might not even realize she was allowing him to demonstrate whether he’s the kind of stand-up man she’s looking for.
A better response could have been, “It’s no trouble, and you’re wearing heels in this snow. I’m happy to walk with you. I’ll get you to your car and then we can swing around and pick mine up. Besides, you’re going to need someone to brush the snow off your car while you warm it up.”
Not only would he have proven himself to be a gentleman, but they would have had an opportunity to create a little physical deliciousness while they walked arm in arm.
The unconscious locks that she has around the question of whether she is going to allow this guy access to her mind, body, and soul have begun to open.
Do guys like complicated women?
Well, a woman needs to feel that a man recognizes her need to be adored and protected. Evolved men are capable of this; the ones still doing their work are not.
A wise woman waits for the man who aces these tests and passes up the ones who fail their unconscious standards.
Until a man is capable of reading these signs and passing the tests, he isn’t capable of creating a space that makes a woman feel adored, and the “locks” to her body and her heart will remain closed.
A woman who settles for a guy who is fundamentally decent but fails these tests will eventually be disappointed — not because he doesn’t have the potential to be a good partner, but because he’s not yet fully matured.
A woman who maintains high standards is the one who attracts men willing to do the work and figure out how to make a connection.
She’s guaranteed to end up with a magnificent man instead of just a needy one.
Graham White is a writer, relationship coach, and founder of What Evolved Women Want. His work revolves around mentoring and supporting women in the process of healing their hearts, claiming their magnificence, and attracting a love to last a lifetime.